Benjamin Baby

Saturday night special

Sarah — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:08:13 +0000

Not much to report here. The neighborhood did have a bit of excitement as we were visited by the pig-eyed cretins from the Westboro Baptist Church. You’ll know them as the group of sub-humans who run the www.godhatesfags.com site, think 9/11 was God’s revenge against America for tolerating both gay people and abortion (which is confusing. When practiced correctly, homosexuality leads to ZERO abortions. But anyway…), picket the funerals of US soldiers etc etc. You get the drift. According to their website, they decided to protest outside of a few local high schools because kids are being taught “sodomy, how to kill babies and blindly following the words of Satan Obama”. And here I was worried that Ben wouldn’t pay attention in school… that sounds fascinating. All we learned about was long division and where Vasco da Gama sailed. Sheesh.

I had grandiose plans of going out there to yell at them but, boringly, Ben and I took a nap instead. According to the local news, there were far more counter-protesters than there were members of the WBC, so that was good to hear. I kinda wish we had gone because Ben has never seen idiots in person.

On to the pictures…

The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth…

Sarah — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:22:06 +0000

Write down yesterday’s date on your calender, folks: IT WAS TOOTH DAY! Yes, Ben got his first tooth. This came as something of a shock because he didn’t exhibit any symptoms (no fever or fussiness, and no more drooling than usual). I was just letting him chew on my index finger while watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” yesterday and -BAM!- the little bottom tooth made itself known. I immediately yelled, “Oh my god!” and burst into tears. Although I’m thrilled that he’s hit a new developmental milestone, it’s also profoundly sad to have tangible proof of my baby boy getting older. I want him to stay small and cuddly forever. There mere thought of him starting school sends me into a full-on panic attack. MY BABY! *sob*

Needless to say, I’ve been trying to take a picture of his mouth’s newest resident but Ben keeps coyly putting his tongue over it so all of the photographic evidence is the dental equivalent of those grainy, blurry Bigfoot snapshots from the 1970’s.

Speaking of milestones, I get these weekly email news letters from babycenter.com that lets me know what Ben should be doing by now and, though not actually stated, implies that if he hasn’t mastered all of the activities listed by now that there’s a good chance that he’s just dumb and that we should seriously consider abandoning him on someone’s doorstep. It’s a great way to reinforce that feeling of parental ineffectiveness every seven days. Last week’s said something like, “At this stage, your baby should have a rudimentary understanding of quantum mechanics and can recite most of Shakespeare’s sonnets by heart…” The kid isn’t even crawling yet– Jesus! So knowing that his first little wonderful tooth came on on schedule is a huge relief.

My son, the drummer

Sarah — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:12:00 +0000

For Christmas, people who we thought were friends bought Ben a rather elaborate percussion set. I say “we thought” because anyone who truly loved us would not buy an 8 month old such noisy toys. It might as well be called “Chock Full O’ Choking Hazards and Headache Inducers”. But what’s important is that Ben likes it… and I have earplugs.

Happy! Sad! Happy! Sad!

Sarah — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 23:55:37 +0000

The many moods of our baby Ben (with guest appearances by Snoop the cat and Kurt)…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Snowpocalypse 2010

Sarah — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:23:57 +0000

Ben’s first snow! Kurt and I were manic with excitement to get Ben all bundled up and experience the elements. Ben was… less than impressed. His facial expressions veered from deeply bored to simply annoyed (“Seriously, mom and dad, you dragged me out here for a photo op? It is WARM in the house. I am soooo gonna keep you two awake all night for this…”).

Happily, he was far more pleased with the awesome Baby Gaga onesie we bought him. Fierce modeling photos are below the cut…

Mommy’s Reign of Terror

Sarah — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:04:28 +0000

In the past 48 hours I have managed to make the worst dinner ever created by a human, kill our laptop by spilling copious amounts of breast milk into the keyboard (it’s better not to ask exactly how that happened), knock our thermostat off the wall and get a sock trapped in our washer’s pump, effectively putting it out of commission. It’s a miracle Ben’s alive, really. Could I be any klutzier? What’s the opposite of the Midas touch? The Sarah touch? Sheesh! Anyway, as of right now, I’ve managed to not hurt Ben in anyway (the night is young, though) and he remains as cute as ever. Below are some photos of him graduating to his high chair (and wearing a cool Beatles bib courtesy of Uncle Karl and Aunt Sarah), hanging out in his Hugh Hefner pj’s with his Aunt Sandy (who normally doesn’t walk around with baby vomit on her shirt, honestly) and modeling his cool new shoes.