Benjamin Baby

Initially, I was a bit confused when others would ask what Kurt and I bought Ben for Christmas. Bought? He’s 6 months old. A fancy wrapped gift would be lost on him. I can hide one of his toys behind my back, pull it back out again 30 seconds later and the kid thinks it’s is brand new and the most exciting thing ever. Besides, we give him food, shelter, love… isn’t that enough?

No.

So we got him Fisher-Price’s Happy Baby Deathtrap Leap-a-roo Distraco 3000 or whatever the hell it’s called. Miraculously, I was able to assemble it with a minimum of cursing and bloodshed. He kid LOVES it. Below are photos of him entranced by it all…

P.S. Ben says happy new year to all of his blog friends!

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Ben has been traveling quite a bit this week, meeting with members of his growing fan club. At this pace, I’m going to be forced to hire a social secretary for him.

The first stop in his Cutest Baby Ever World Tour was in Virginia Beach where he had a lunch date with his cousin Pam. She is the one fully responsible for getting me shamelessly addicted to Duran Duran way back in 1983. It was only appropriate that he wear his Duran Duran shirt (cue “The Circle of Life” someone!). Ben immediately fell in love with her. After that, we took a pit stop to see his Aunt Sandy at work. He was a big hit with her awesome co-workers and even had a few marriage proposals.

Then it was on the road to Richmond to see his grandparents. They hate Ben. Kidding, of course. They, too, cannot resist his 6 month old charms. He was showered with a ton of fantastic presents and had a fun time.

Finally, his aunts came over on Christmas Eve for food, drinks and even more gifts. Although a bit tired from such a punishing schedule, Ben rallied and was the belle of the ball.

He also started eating solid foods recently and is obsessed with carrots. If you look closely in these photos, you’ll see that the tip of his nose is turning orange from all of the beta carotene. Ha!

Happy holidays!

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Here are a bunch of photos Kurt’s uploaded from his iPhone. Do note that the one where Ben is dressed in a hideous combination of stripes is the result of a fashion tragedy that occured when daddy tried to dress him. Honestly, if Kurt and I ever divorce, this picture alone would win me full custody with no visitation rights. Quelle horreur!

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WARNING: massive amounts of shameless mushiness ahead.

Six months ago, Ben was born. To be perfectly honest, my heart wasn’t overflowing with motherly adoration that day. Instead, I was loudly cursing the inbred anesthesiologist who completely botched my epidural, desperately trying to steal some sleep between visitors and, finally -mercifully-, high out of my mind in a lovely Percocet haze. The overriding feeling was, “What the *^@& just happened?! Jesus.” It kinda sucked, actually.

Days passed by, the pain started to fade (not nearly soon enough) and I got to know the little guy. I didn’t fall crazy, head-over-heels in love with him merely because he was a baby or even because he was our baby. Instead, what made me completely adore him was solely because of who he is. Ben’s personality emerged almost instantly. It was obvious that we were lucky enough to have a blissfully happy, deeply silly, very Zen-like boy with the world’s most irresistible crooked grin. Prior to his birth, I intended to return to work and keep things essentially the same as they were before. Ben utterly rocked my world in the very best way possible. The idea of leaving him for 8+ hours, 5 days a week simply wasn’t an option. No amount of money or career fulfillment could even remotely match the joy of being in the daily presence of this remarkable baby. Words cannot describe how much I enjoy spending large chunks of the afternoon being goofy with him (thank god he won’t remember the ridiculous Lady Gaga dance I do to make him giggle). I didn’t know that my jaded, snarky self could love someone so deeply and completely.

As mentioned in a previous post, my mom and dad both passed away while I was in my first trimester. I would give anything for them to meet Ben for even a minute. They were both so excited about finally becoming grandparents (but justifiably freaked out at the idea of me being anyone’s mom. They knew how much I loved traveling vast distances to see Duran Duran live or staying out at all hours to go dancing and had a hard time imagining me covered with baby spit). I can’t think of two better, more loving parents. If Kurt and I can be half as wonderful as they were, Ben’s gonna turn out just fine.

Happy birthday, baby. Your mom and dad love you more than you could ever know.

Once in a while, someone will ask me if Ben really is as good-natured and smiley as all of these photos seem to indicate. Yeah, he really is. That said, there are times (admittedly few, though) when he’s not grinning his head off, looks bored or -heaven forbid!- just takes a bad photo. I present to you, the very worst photos of our baby Ben…

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So Ben and I were in line at the post office yesterday when a little girl (she was about a year older, I think) noticed my wildly attractive son. She made loud grunting noises until her mom pushed the strollers together so she could give Ben bedroom eyes and touch toes. Perhaps shrieking, “Get away from my son, you shameless hussy!” was a bit of an over-reaction on my part.

Regardless, here are some pictures to show just why he is so irresistible to the ladies (WARNING FOR THE FAINT OF HEART: these photos include some semi-scandalous diaper-only shots. If you are prone to fainting or cardiac problems, you might want to skip these…)

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